Ebb away

Let us allow things to run their course. Some things have no value if they don't come easy.

F1 pace of life

June: are you happy?
Yes. Dont know why. But yes. I never question anything that puts a smile on my face

December: are you happy?
Ask me again in a couple of months. I hate to acknowledge the fact that being happy is a conscious and hard effort and it's increasingly difficult too.

Erase, change, move

Why do we keep looking at things that grab our throats and slowly try to choke us? Because we like the torture? Because we enjoy the drama?

No.

Because we hope that it will stop hurting. Maybe we will be desensitized. Just like all things, it will end. We hope that will happen today. Now.

We hope. We hope not to lose hope.

Sometimes chocolate is not enough

The only good thing about the commute to work is the 15-20 steps in front of Ricoa. A whiff of Chocolate heaven.

It's possible, that's the only good thing about work.

Like putting together a puzzle of ramblings from the Net

The appeal of everyone as a human being increases when you know your time with them is fleeting.

Some things are better left short and unadulterated; it is what it is and what it was is perfect.

Sure.

*too much thoughtcatalog can make you overthink. -Evelyn Cheung. 6 lessons you learn from excessive travelling.

Sometimes the truth sucks

Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think.

Post mortem

Often it is the tiny, almost insignificant decisions we make in our day to day lives that have the most impact on who we are, who we're with, who hurts us. (Because really, who gets to hurt us but those we allow) It is almost untraceable. When you try to figure out where a mistake was made it's next to impossible to find it.

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations, uncomfortable situations, brought about by a series of random and harmless decisions. Like a decision to talk to someone new, to be friends with an unlikely new acquaintance. How can a potentially heartbreaking situation come from a set of lighthearted conversations? It's like asking 'why do bad things happen to good people?'. It never gets a straight answer. It is disconcerting to know that there is no way to predict a bad outcome. It just happens.

All things eventually come to an end. The good and the bad, fortunately and unfortunately. So how do we end something that is veering towards an unfortunate ending when it is based on a series of fortunate (happy!) events?

Everyone struggles with the hand they've been dealt.

Don't wait to be happy.

We are almost done here

This day's a spinning circus on a wheel

Just when you are starting to get a hold of your loose thoughts, frayed ideas, ramblings and random hopes, a bomb is dropped on your head. It's one of those things that one can deem superficial, not a problem, can be easily overcome. It just came at the wrong time.

Nothing ever comes at the right time. Patience IS a skill. Waiting is never fun. You're never really sure when it is time to leave. You just leave and make do with whatever you were able to take. And maybe pretend, maybe accept you do not need what you left behind.

I hope you can stay though. Somehow things are better when you're around.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

I may not have a lot to give but i'll give it all to you.

No.

Wait.

I do have a lot to give. I deserve to get what i want. I deserve what i want.

I will get what i want.

I miss viber and good nights.

Let's freak out

Someday somebody's gonna make you want to turn around and say 'goodbye'

Getting used to 'minus 1'

The hardest part is not making the decision. It's living with the consequences of that decision.

Will you still want what you want when you get it?

No, I don't think you should get married just because you've already invested several years of your life in a relationship.

No, I don't think you should get married because of familiarity or practicality.

No, I don't think you should get married just because.

No, I don't think you should rush into anything.

No, I don't think you should get married because everyone's at it.

Yes, I think you should think about it.

Yes, I think you should save, prepare and have the wedding you've always wanted.

Yes, I think you should find the one you want to spend the rest of your life with and marry that person.

Quite logical? Logical enough? I just choose to say the exact opposite of what I believe in. That's the illogical part.

3 clicks to fast forward

What was the diagnosis again? Is it capable of being fixed? No longer salvageable? Are you going to fix it? Are you still trying to stitch it back together?

What was I supposed to do again? Was I supposed to enjoy my last moments or was I supposed to just find another hobby?

Was I supposed to take a grand vacation to forget what you said? Or
was I supposed to stay in place?

Wait. Have you given a diagnosis yet? Or did I just get ahead of myself? Again.

Shake it off

These days I can't allow my mind to wander for a couple of minutes. It senses that my defenses are down and goes on overdrive. A rollercoaster emotional ride. Not fun. Induces vomiting and hating. Wondering and complaining. What ifs and what nots. Nitpicking and missing the big picture. Boo mind! Sometimes i wish you'll just shut up. Shut up.

I am done with my graceless heart. So tonight I'm gonna cut it off and then restart. F+m

Swimming lessons

I'm tired. The tides can carry me wherever, or drown me if needed. I'm no longer fighting.

“If pain must come, may it come quickly. Because I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best way possible. If he has to make a choice, may he make it now. "PC

A little autopilot never hurt anyone, right? Right?

There is silence that is comforting, much needed. And there's one that is foreboding, almost apathetic. That's the silence I do not want. Do not need. Do not welcome. It presents itself in situations that require words. An explanation. If not an explanation at least a heads up will suffice. But there is something worse than silence. It is silence under the guise of non-silence. It is when one pretends the silence is non existent.

It is when one pretends, fades and ----

Confusedself signing on

“Yes, my mind was wandering. I wished I were there with someone who could bring peace to my heart someone with whom I could spend a little time without being afraid that i would lose him the next day. With that reassurance, the time would pass more slowly. We could be silent for a while because we'd know we had the rest of our lives together for conversation. I wouldn't have to worry about serious matters, about difficult decisions and hard words.” PC

It's raining. I'm alone in my head and it is not always a good thing. Make it 2 days alone in my head, and I can't even come up with a solid distraction for at least 2 minutes. I've been bothered by confused thoughts for more than a week. I knew putting off tackling these thoughts was a bad idea, and as luck would have it I am forced to tread these murky thoughts in the most inoppurtune time lest I sink.

“What's the world greatest lie? the boy asked, completely surprised. "it's this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That's the world's greatest lie.” PC

Random rambling on a rainy day

"if you had to choose between someone you're compatible with but is financially challenged and someone who doesn't get you in the same way but is fiancially stable, who would you choose?" I choose the former. Didn't have to think about that one. Love over money, right? Things change. My answer hasn't. My reasons have. It's incredibly difficult for me to find someone whose company I enjoy. So i will wait til that person comes along. Again.

Stuck in a rut

In the wrong place. How long do i stick it out before I can no longer say "i'm just paying my dues"?