12.02.2005

...

black is not evil.it's just misunderstood

10.30.2005

mediocre should be taken out of the dictionary.

what makes it all worse. to exist and to forget the exquisite art of living. hell they say to be living.a handful people differ. and the remaining lot make it true
for rest of them who do not believe it is grand to be living.to be mediocre,to be content with what you know is not the most. to let it go before you're sure that it never was for you.for everyday that you're frozen,for everyday that you exist.you make it worse for those who need a hand,when it's you who could be more.and you know.
it's being right there in the middle, being mediocre. and you will never be mediocre unless you know you've given it all. there are a few who bring out the best in you, and a few who pretend. but in the end it's all you, the best and not the mediocre.

10.27.2005

Ramblings on Good Omens


“In a small house in Dorking, Surrey, a light was on in a bedroom window. Newton Pulsifer was twelve, and thin, and bespectacled, and he should have been in bed hours ago.”

“Sometimes he was called White, or Blanc, or Albus, or Chalky, or Weiss, or Snowy, or any one of the hundred other names. His skin was pale, his hair a faded blond, his eyes light gray… “

-Excerpts from Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s Good Omens.

I don’t know if it’s just me or those sound like descriptions of Harry Potter and his ‘childhood enemy’ Draco. (and by childhood enemy I mean Draco has found himself a ‘new archrival’, himself.)

Living in Surrey, thin and bespectacled.(Harry). Pale skin, faded blond hair, light gray eyes…what’s funny are the names: Albus? Snowy? Nothing really that was just my active imagination.

Good Omens was definitely a good read. With all the things that’s happening around the world, natural calamities, death. Dementors running loose. Reading a book like that makes you hope that the ‘antichrist’ (in loose terms) was misplaced. Now living in Europe does sound more interesting…What with an angel-demon-guardian, with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in motorcycles (with four followers that possess rather hilariously concocted names) a misplaced baby antichrist with an extremely long title, (that just has to be repeated in full lest you risk the wrath Hell) with a dog named Dog, and other characters that help bring the book in simple terms, sarcastic at times(with some not-for-slow-people-jokes)but a metaphor for life. Oh and lots of subtitles too, you can’t help but look for them in the next book you read until you realize your wasting time looking for the non-existent. Got to love the book.

10.26.2005

where is Slovenia?


Veronika decides to die: My first try on a Paulo Coelho work. Interestingly, I enjoyed it. I simply thought it would be overrated. I didn’t think it had a climax, it seemed like a collection of various stories from deemed ‘crazy people’, which I feel was the central theme. Nevertheless, full to the brim with very nice (I can’t think of another description) quotes, about life and all about the struggle of mankind. Simple words, makes you dwell more on the underlying meaning instead of constantly reaching for the dictionary. You can’t help but feel like you’re in the same situation.

10.23.2005

in a rut

wow! i was looking at my endless list of books to read and wow! i definitely have to live a little longer than i thought i should last, because the list goes ever on and on. and this is all amazon's fault.and those who make reviews that make it seem interesting. for the nth time i realized i should be reading but i'm not and for quite sometime i've been stuck to good omens. not sure if that's because i'm dreading having to read one hundred years of solitude, i am so close to returning that book and moving on. my life= in a rut. right now i can see myself, in a very comfortable seat at the cinema, having a GoF, Memoirs of a Geisha and Da Vinci Code marathon. oh dear i'm boring myself to death, is there blood coming out of my ears?

10.21.2005

40 year old virgin

'd'you know how i know your gay? because you like coldplay.'
is that so?:)

10.20.2005

To mix or not to mix

A nice, tall very cold coffee to soothe your bloody mouth. With whipped cream on top and caramel drizzle that settles very nicely in your mouth. What a limited vocabulary would describe as a perfect end to a useless day. Sweet laziness= guilt free coffee while in front of the computer, rambling. Don’t you just love life? Love it so much you want to destroy every being not capable of ‘living’ it. Love it so much you want to trample the useless beings who EXIST. World domination at its best: reserving the world for PEOPLE!

Coffee just brings out the best in you!

Random thought

misery in the past does not entail unending despair. After all, how the hell are going to own the world?

10.19.2005

one day you will rule the world

Girl Name:
Lady Lilth

You are quick to point out
someone's mistakes. You tend to hold grugdes
longer than most people but forgive people who
deserve death.


What Is Your Goth Name?
brought to you by Quizilla

someone was bored


There's a Dragon in your soul. You are very wise
and like to give people advice. You mostly feel
like you are misunderstood and don't like a lot
of people around you. 2 or 3 friends are
enough. You can be very emotional but because
of your intelligence you have the power to go
on and find a solution. You are wise, but
nobody can solve all problems alone, so don't
turn away from everybody and ask for help
sometimes too. That way, problems will be much
easier to solve.


What Mystical Creature is in your soul? ( With Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

10.09.2005

someone shouted heresy while i was talking to god

"those are narrow minded people who do not give a damn about using even 1 percent of their god given intelligence. and we are not challenging religion we are discussing faith"

10.07.2005

ramblings

what's weird in this society is that those who help uphold religion are those who ruin it. should faith be shaken? should we listen for the sake of being religious and let our faith take the backseat? should we believe everything they try to input in what they think are our puny brains? should we be passive about the issues that hammer our religion believing that our faith will save us? should we stop using our god given brains to try and fathom or at least get a glimpse of what life is all about?

9.08.2005

the pen murder 1

the pen is stuck
between the brain and his stomach
the ink and the red drip
one by one
on the white
as words form on the blank
between his heart and stomach grows weak
the pen is stuck
above
the between of his brain and stomach
what never came out
drifted in the air
then dropped on the white
along with the black and the red
the blank is full
of what was him
of what they never knew
the white is no more
it's what he is
that never was
the beating is dull
irregular
until it stopped
and someone trips
on what used to be

7.18.2005

hbp is here!

yup!yes! it's finally available for the itchy hands of hp sleuths, time to see which speculations will turn out to be intelligent guesses.my copy is about ready to board a plane,probably next week my posts will consist of endless rantings about the half blood prince. anyway this past week was easier on me. less problems about deadlines, though two weeks from now is the judgung for our major plate. sandamakmak na dasal nanaman ang matatanggap ng langit, sana pumasa ko!! well next week din ung report namin sa theory of archi, isa pa un sana naman ok. hmmm... actually nagpapanggap lang akong calm (sabi nga ni nikki) pero sobrang excited na ko sa hbp.
in a way mixed emotions, happy that the long wait is over but dreading the end of the only thing that keeps me sane. well to most it doesn't keep me sane, but i know what i mean. half of the people reading this agree, half disagree, and half don't even know what i'm talking about(kagaya ng sabi sa seinfeld ' half silk half cotton half linen. how can you go wrong) anyway this will be the last of my sane post in a while. possibly my last post for this month, depending on how much they hate us in school. oh, at baka nga pala maligaw kami sa vigan next month after ng prelims, pahinga, pero sa bulsa ng nanay ko hindi :)

7.09.2005

temper temper

katapos ko lang kumain. it's almost midnight pero syempre takas pa rin ng isang entry dito. this week is so NOT good for me and that is me being optimistic. design is complete torture! torture in its purest form. lots of pressure, not that i haven't gotten used to it, i mean 2 years of nerves nerves nerves. but this sem is proving to be the worst and that is me doing my work on time. this is probably the effect of having Series of Unfortunate events (from now on, SoUE) stuck to my nose. it took me a week to finish 'the grim grotto'.pretty depressing when i need to get started on my Half-blood Prince(HBP) practice. Haha, practice daw kelangan na kasi i refresh ang mind at makapagformulate ng pahabol na theories.sino nga ba ang half blood prince.

haaaaaay... currently on tv is national geographic's unlocking the da vinci's code. anong bang deal dyan? have you read the book? hindi pa? well you should masarap basahin, on the postive side gets you thinking about your faith. not your religion. goodness me! kung religion na lang ang palaging iisipin wala na talagang maliligtas satin. napansin kaya ng ibang nagbasa ang nakasulat na 'a novel' in front of the cover?it tests your faith, sabi nila. well ako, siguro nasobrahan sa publicity, at wala ng effect. or is it safe to say that i do have a strong faith? naaah... masyado din akong maraming tanong dyan. sa sociology nga lang kung nagtatanong siguro ko, e di na natapos ang class.

haaaaaaaay...ulit. antok na ko. at ikaw rin. :) baka bukas di na tayo pareho magising. so don't waste time! labo ! good night!

7.07.2005

you could live for this moment

This moment when everything
Is picturesque
When a glossy something envelopes the world
When the volume is turned down
And you can even here your breathing
When the pendulum forgot to swing
And the leaves forgot to fall
But you cannot forget
When the wind forgot to play
And you don't know hat to say
But it shows
When you feel a bubble rising up
You normally push it down
But find that now you can't
When you look around
But end up finding everything
The same
They look as beautiful
Who cares if you're in the middle
Of a crowded flight of stairs
That you're frozen
In your next step
That people are staring
You don't care
You could live for this moment

7.06.2005

hmmmm again

11 am, I’m supposed to be inside a public transpo, listening to music, reading a book and trying to get to school in the shortest time possible. But no! at 11 am I was rubbing my eyes trying desperately to keep them open to see that the clock on the wall is displaying a weird time to be asleep. In short I was not late for first period, I was absent! Of all days to be absent, of all reasons! Great!
We had a ‘crossword’ type of test for sociology and a very hard-to-understand-who-would-bother lecture in plumbing. And our last period prof did not make it, well I don’t really know what happened but our test is long overdue.
It took me an hour to get a ride, as usual. I wasn’t really sure if I took the right transpo until we got to edsa because my stupidity has brought me a couple of times to sm west instead of sm Fairview.
I’m babbling.
Gedrick? Who watches feel young? Tama ba? Anong pangalan ng isang character dun? Ha! Ignorante ako e.
‘point’ (isa lang e) to ponder. Ignorance? Not so bad?

7.03.2005

hmmm

it's been a while. resulting in hmmmm.
presentation of the design concept for the good year servitek proj., over. ok though it's not ok to be ok.
i woke at 7am from a terrible tummy ache and got sleep 11 pm saturday, just wonderful innit?
well that's just my never-got-to-see-the-good-side part of my life.
but hey, hbp's just around the corner and hopefully a better layout for my site too...
i'm so clueless. about everything. what is happening around me, what is supposed to be in my head and why the heck am i babbling.
it's 11 pm and i'm wondering about stuff that usually play inside my head at 3am, i just got to learn to schedule this shenanigans my brain just loves doing. probably in dreams that you could forget when you wake. dreams that never stay. oh they never do.

6.27.2005

I envy

I envy,
them.
who speak
of someone they know.
I hoped
I wished
I knew

Them.
They talk
About someone.
Someone
I lost

Them.
They have
What I
Will never have

Them.
I wish
I am.

Them.
They have you

I am no one

5.20.2005

I am stuck

I love you, not in past tense, never will. I just came to a point where I realized the amount of stupidity I was creating. I took a good look and found all the good things I have been pushing around my plate. Because it would not fit the void you made. I would cut away the excess and found they weren't nice anymore, so i'd throw it away. i tried to fill the gaps but found it's not the same. i've been trying to make things fit what i thought was right, thinking you're the perfect mold. it's a weird kind of relationship. expecting nothing but still hurting, missing something i thought i'd let go.it hurts. then i hit the wall, with nothing. i can't stop hoping cause i never did. can't end something that never began. and now at this point i am stuck

2.19.2005

Betrayal of Eyes

You know you hate me.
For years,
You have been tethered on the edge of hate.
You know you love me so much,
You hate me.
You’re going six feet under.
You killed yourself with your own denial
Tomorrow we will meet
You claim apathy
but you can’t
And then we will meet again
I will look at you
But you are tired of telling me
You hate me
For your eyes betray you
One day you will tell me
What your eyes speak of
I will tell you the same
But my eyes won’t
You leave shaking you head
Not believing.
But I do.
But my eyes won’t
Again we will meet
You won’t speak
I will look at you
Try to seek but you won’t see
I know you wonder
You try to hate me
But you know you can’t
We will go on like this
Then I will get tired
I would bury myself six feet
Again you will descend the pit
Side by side, we lay
You tell me you hate me
And your eyes won’t betray you
I tell you I love
And my eyes won’t betray me
We won’t believe each other
I am happy to lay beside you
Not believing each other
‘I love you’ you won’t feel
‘I hate you’ has devoid me of feelings
You will never know
I truly love you
I know you love me
It’s enough
After sometime
Maybe the darkness of the earth
Will soften my voice
And you will understand.

I Do Not Falter

I open my eyes
And wake my alter ego
For years I have been torn
Between contradiction
I tell you I hate you out of habit
I do not falter
I never do
Your eyes lack emotions
But somehow exude
Abysmal confidence
You must think I have failed
I have not
I won
I managed to hate you
More than possible
You're eyes seek the anomaly
And you've won
You know
I know you do
I smiled inwardly
I tell youI hate you
I did not falter
But my eyes betray me

You Will Cry For Me 'Mione

You will cry for me
You will weep for every glare I throw
You will stand on your knees
You will despise every fiber of my being
And I…
Will lovingly count every tear that escape your eyes
I will make you feel
I will trade apathy
For your hateI will take all
That you can give
The tears
The hate
I will make you hate me
More than you thought possible
For you will never love me
The way I hoped you would
Start saving your tears ‘Mione
For you will cry for me

1.30.2005

Draco's note for 'mione 3

You will cry for me
I will take from you
All the tears
You never shed for me

I will claim
What you deny
I will dry your eyes
Of the tears

For you will
Never cry
For someone else
But me

If you cannot love me
You will cry for me
‘mione
Happy Valentine’s

Draco's note for 'mione 2

I watched you from afar
Where they wouldn’t know
And you wouldn’t care
Where I could suffer my love

I would take being second best
If it meant losing to you
I would taunt the weasel and scarhead
If it meant a strong emotion from you

I would take a punch, a slap
Anger and hate
I would take anything
You could give

My non-existent heart
Will continue to feel
As long as you hate me
I will love you

Happy Valentine’s Day
‘mione


Draco's note for 'mione 1

Crawl on the bloody floor
Let the red stain
Linger on your skin
The irony smell
Stay on the olfactory

Let your eyes turn into ruby
Forget the emerald
Forget the sapphire
Forget the yellow tainted glow of the light

Focus on the pain
Let the grace embrace
Soon it will disappear
Your vein will stop spurting your life
And it will end

And you will be with me
Where they don’t care
If you love me
Or if I love you
If love exists

That I’m an insufferable git
And you are an insufferable know-it-all
Where the weaslebee
And the pothead
Don’t exist

And we are gone
To live
Happy Valentine’s
‘mione


1.28.2005

time...

who was it that i saw all those times? an image that time has created for me to love. someone for my eyes to follow, for my heart to feel, to bury me deeper.

so i guess you were gone a long time ago. fast before i ever realized who you really were.

so the tears that fell were for no one. the scars that were left were for no one. i was afraid of being an empty shell when you leave me, funny how i've always been.

so it was you all along, that someone i never cared for. it was you all along, that someone who never cared. stupid me, i never realized i loved a phantom.

time is cruel. that i know now, for it left me in that puddle of shit, i thought was a haven for love. how i wasted my life for someone i thought was some one.

well i guess now, we could be together in that puddle of shit, being two no ones

1.24.2005

time

i am so used to seeing you, so used to your voice. memorized every detail of your beautifully crafted face.

until i saw you today, and i realize, time. it does exist. such a traitor, it crept from behind. i never knew what it was taking away from me, until i opened my eyes and saw you. how different you are from who i thought you were.

images, they were so concrete. like you're there before me, though you were long gone. away from the life i thought we had, away from me.

to be continued...







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1.21.2005

Finally

it has been a while, goodness and i would certainly be babbling. we visited cribs around 2, 3 weeks ago. if you've evr been to a place like that well you know what it means by never wanting to leave. we are 3 days away from passing a competition plate, and on a sunday afternoon enjoying the company of little angels. oh well, some things do not end with leaving...
anyway that competition plate? best forgotten... ok! forgotten already!
after that prelims week...it was ok until we got to the literature exam which was terrible. the professor stated before how literature is not about memorizing, but it's about understanding. but hello! when the paper comes a lot of stuff you wouldn't remember if you do not deliberately try to memorize... just great...
and that was the first month of 2005 for me. a 2 hours worth of visit and that was actually the best,some exams, some some... good enough.
i just finished memoirs of a geisha...finally. good book, entertaining. really makes you fascinated about them geishas, i did a bit of side researching while doing a bit of research on japanese architecture.
what else? almost done reading 'the five people you meet in heaven'. teary-eyed... i would've cried if i wasn't reading while riding public transpo.
now, i've an art class assignment, task due february, a lot more plates and vacation soon to come!!!
don't you just love the second semester?

1.03.2005

The University of Blogging

Presents to
witchlia

An Honorary
Bachelor of
Self Deprication

Majoring in
Anonymous Commenting
Signed
Dr. GoQuiz.com
®

Username:http://www.go-quiz.com/degree/degree.php">Username:%20name="uname">

Degree
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1.01.2005

some love

funny, how we broke up. i've been wanting to see him, never to be with him just love him from afar. and so everyday i would watch from my corner to admire the lovely handiwork of the heavens. to watch how people just can't help but fall in love with him. to watch people be with him. and everyday i would notice how far he has moved from that familiar spot where i used to gaze at him. until one day i realized i can't even see his face, nor hear his voice. i could only imagine how he used to speak, how he looked. and so everyday from my little corner, i would sit and hope. time would be cruel, it would hold on to me like some gum stuck on your pants. i would never move on like they all did.

one day i saw a face so unlike the one i used to know, but still makes my heart feel. for some strange twist of fate he was there in front of me like i always hoped would happen.

and so everyday he would be with me, be the perfect him that he will always be. until i knew i've gotten so far i couldn't let go.

and he would smile and laugh like we were meant to be. i enjoyed all those times. imprinted in my heart not my head.

we were too good to be true, they would say. and one day i would realize just how true it is.

i have gotten so used with the hurt, the longing, that having you with me is just too much. and so it happened, like a dream. the word goodbye flew out of my mouth like a knife threatening to kill.

he was hurt i knew he was. i too was dying inside.

so i returned to my corner, admiring the amazing handiwork of the heavens.i thought i saw tears. but i could not allow myself the satisfaction, of the tears i so longed to fall for me.

there are lots of people around him, professing love they thought they felt. claiming to love him like i did. like i do. like i always will. but they will never know what it's like to have you



...

what is it with internet quizzes? huh?

i was spending some time in the bathroom a while taking with my friend, who of course does not seem to know me.
me: i was just wondering what it would be like to be loved
imaginary friend: sure, i wonder too sometimes
me: maybe you could try and love me
imaginary friend: sure, like i've any choice.
me: come on...
imaginary friend: ?!!@#
me: now that's totally uncalled for.
and so that was our nonsense conversation,



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Ingredients:

3 parts friendliness

1 part courage

3 parts beauty
Method:
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