2.29.2008

Lessons above ground and just below the clouds

I used to and still do, live my life vicariously. I have been doing so and enjoying it for the better half of my life which makes trying to live life first hand all the more harder. Lucky me, although college can be tough it has soft spots that always know where to find you.

The Syllabus

Subject: College Life
Classroom: Above ground and just below the clouds
Time: Depends how long you want to stay
Professor: Everyone you meet along the way
Objective: To make sure all emotions are accounted for before you decide to leave.
Disclaimer: Not all modules are guaranteed to be taught, learned or understood by the conclusion of the subject. It all depends on you.

Module 1:
Everything ends with their right side up. Lots of things happen that rock your world, sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a bad way. The good thing about life is that it’s closer to a dice than to a boat. When a boat gets rocked by the waves and winds sometimes it ends up cap sized. You get trapped inside then probably drown. A dice when rolled may not always give you the high number or the low number you need. But essentially, it gives you a number to work with. I guess that means it’s not a trap. And I guess that means the universe—or multiverse always has a way of straightening things out.

Module 2:
Friends always come through somehow. I have great respect for the people who can call themselves Friends. I happen to end up with what I would call the Licensed Friends, Elite group. They are all skillfully trained in the art of Friendship combat. If you must know, Licensed Friends have every right to call themselves Friends. They have gone through a rigorous training of banter, story-telling, listening to your stories, singing, dancing, arguing, reminding you of what needs to be noted, forgetting your mishaps, helping you forget. They also have Extra Loud laughter for laugh-atons and Reinforced shoulders for crying sessions.

Module 3:
Sometimes you have to tunnel your way through. The multiverse is not a series of doors that open when you knock. There are those that you need to barge your way into. And then there are those that just won’t budge. In which case, tunnel your way through. They say it’s the journey and not the destination that matters. In the end you can say “It wasn’t a smooth ride, there were lots of bumpy paths and sticky mishaps but it was definitely a better ride”

Module 4:
Trusting people is not easy, but sometimes you just have try. You know that feeling when you think there’s one more step when you’re climbing stairs then you realize there’s none. Remember that weird feeling in the tummy? That’s how scary trusting people are, only a hundred times weirder. There could be 10 people you will trust, odds are 9 will let you down. But when you get to that 1 person worth trusting, the other 9 are all worth trying.

Module 5:
Compromise. You never get everything in this life delivered in a bubble wrap. Sometimes you get things all broken, sometimes with missing pieces. Sometimes you can try piecing them back together. Sometimes you can try and find the missing pieces. And sometimes you just have to let it go. Not everything comes in neat perfect packages but they always come with instructions. That instruction always says the same thing: “It’s up to you to make it perfect.”

Module 6:
Some lessons are better learned first hand. Vicarious pleasure, vicarious living is fun. But Life can become an addiction and when venturing into battle second hand lessons are not always the best set of armament. Sometimes scars are the best reminders of lessons learned. Sometimes they even hurt just enough to keep you from making the same mistake.

Module 7:
Be true to yourself no matter how cliché it may sound. It’s so much easier to get lost in a crowd knowing who you are than being in a room all alone without knowing what’s inside

Module 8:
I shall quote Dumbledore on this, “It is our choices that show who we truly are far more than our abilities.” Talent is something you are born with (although sometimes I wonder if that is true). But then talent is not going to make things happen. Even a vessel overflowing with fuel is not going to move unless someone turns the ignition. You have to make the choice even if the choice seems unlikely. And when the choice is made, you have to make it the right choice.

Module 9:
Lessons never stop coming until you stop learning, the same way that air is always present until you decide to stop breathing it in. You have to make the choice to accept. You cannot always be sure of the outcome of things, you just have to try. Sometimes things fall into pieces, at times smaller and at times bigger. Open your eyes and pick the lesson, they often are labeled Lesson Learned, we are just too scared to see.

Module 10:
Review all past modules and get ready for a practical exam.

Exam Instructions: Lifelong exam consists of an infinite number of questions. Answer honestly. No need to cheat because you will never find the answer sheet. All points are awarded for effort. Have fun because this is the only exam that will matter.

2.19.2008

Take three yes?

Posted dec. 26,2004. again last april 30, 2006. And again...

the advent of technology...you spend hours on the net surfing for stuff you don't really need. well, just an excuse to be online. hoping that maybe for some unknown but an appreciated reason you'll chance upon someone. not just someone, but some one.so everyday even for an hour you log-in, keeping your toes (since your currently using your hands) crossed. maybe just maybe...and everyday you get frustrated.but not enough to keep you away from the computer.and so one day, in the wee hours of the morning, you spotted your happiness online.out of your invisibility cloak you go for a casual stroll and hopefully your ip address might bump into his.haaaaay.......what we do to be called crazy

2.05.2008

...

Never been this scared before.

Now I know why I've never been fond of so many people, but I'm not gonna tell you why. I'd rather have all the conflict inside.

1.13.2008

Problem:

She does not feel significant enough to waste the time of other people, whether voluntarily given or not.

10.30.2007

Especially Dark :D

First of all, who puts smileys on titles??? I think that's the whole all...

It's a great feeling to be working on something you like. But when you fall in love with an idea there's always that possibility of killing yourself. Of course, I can't die... which makes it worse? or better?

10.28.2007

...

Slept July
Woke up October

10.08.2007

Methinks

The longer you stay in the game, the harder it is to differentiate fact from fiction.

10.06.2007

Musings

You are so not an easy obsession.

10.02.2007

Say "Hi Me!"

I don't know what's sadder knowing that this thesis of mine could fall into shambles because I get so easily distracted, or knowing that I'm my biggest distraction.

Methinks:
Is aspirin addictive?

9.19.2007

Sagada, Mountain Province

This entry is long overdue. I just realized I need to write this now. With the current state of my deteriorating memory all that will be left is an idea of smiles and tummy ache without any recollection of how it got there. Plus I made a deal with my brain that if I get this done now, it will stop wandering into the often explored depths of my stupidity and allow me to work on my thesis.

The Sagada trip was about two weeks ago. WOW! That is not an acronym. It is a word synonymous to the Sumaging Cave.

The trip unofficially started with the annoying act of lugging around a 4-days worth of clothes in leather shoes and school uniform which it seems, is not even necessary. Read: around 4 hours of waiting for nothing. After the waiting, we made our way outside the school which shall now be known unofficially (nicked from Nikki), “The Flight of the Turtles… or the Tortoises”. Lotsa waiting and secretly blocking the way of the co occupants of the bus so that we get our choice of seats. Oh, and this is where the whining starts. However, a certain Whiney or Whiny shall be the only one to perfect this art.

I’m too lazy for the narrative, so I’ll just outline a few things I learned in Sagada.

1. The jump seat is not a very happy place. Not for me, at least. Although, Eveth says it’s the best sacrifice she’s made this year… Or something to that effect.

2. I said this before, “If you love your ass, the jeepney ride to the Saddle (Batad) is better undertaken inside the jeep not on top of it.” and I say this now, the ride from Banaue to Sagada is not a short ride and is not a smooth ride. You’re lucky if your ass ends up just flat and----ummm, for lack of a better word, not lopsided. :D. I swear the view is beautiful, but your bottom will never be the same again…

3. Make sure that when you ride the coaster to Sagada your hair is dry. Because when you mix mountain air (also known as dust) to wet hair you get clumps of twig-looking hair.

4. Shiny forehead? Need to powder your nose? Stick your face out of the bus.

5. Sagada coffee is good and cheap. (Yay)

6. Yoghurt House, nuff said. (It’s a you-need-to-be-there moment)

7. Water in Sagada is also cold. Especially when you’re bathing while trying to keep an eye on all for corners of the bathroom, afraid that some uninvited entity is joining you.

8. Three bathrooms for 19 people are enough for a short stay provided that the other two do not have McArthur moments.

9. I am lucky at picking a bathroom. I picked the one with no voyeur and no “I shall return” moments.

10. I think I might have the makings of a gambler. (A couple of years ago, we were in Vegas and I had to constantly keep moving around the ‘gambling area’ because I’m not yet allowed to gamble. I wonder now if they were just trying to keep me out because they knew right away I’d be one of those crying at the table having just lost money she doesn’t even have. You know what, I think this belongs to another entry).

Moving on…

11. Jerold shall now be known as Jer-Jer. Hahahaha! (Si Jerold parang mag ggolf lang)

12. Some people need not be drunk to do ‘things’. We all know what happened in that hotel corridor… and I have pictures to prove it (I’m such a blackmailer)

Side note: Digital cameras are one of the best inventions ever. You get to take lasting impressions of momentary lapses of judgement.

13. A brownout shall not deter Pats from achieving a world record: “The most number of trips to the buffet”.

14. Gigs had two stressful moments in the bathroom. One with a brownout and one with a McArthur. :D

15. Special lesson for Nikki, Always close the bathroom door.

16. Special lesson for Nikki again, Wear a belt when wearing loosely fitted shorts. :D

17. Many tried. But alas, they failed. Only one succeeded. Whiney or Whiny has perfected the art of Whining.

18. There’s not much need to pack light for Sagada.

19. Dress code: Casual clothes applicable for trekking and getting wet.

20. The cold mountain air does things to the gasses that come out of your backside.

21. The Pats question: Who’s your idol architect? (asked with a twinkle in his eye)

22. When they order one case of beer and say they’ll ration it… don’t believe them. They can polish it off in say, 3 hrs… :D

23. The sumaging cave is beautiful, a little vulgar at times but beautiful just the same.

24. That muddy looking substance on the rocks… Icky, smelly bat droppings.

25. I shall reiterate the fact that Gollum is a strong hiker and a good spelunker as well. It’s funny when we go to these beautiful places (Read Batad and Sagada) we end up like our ancestors, on all fours…

9.10.2007

...

Site Strength

People do not go "Hello there, Parking Lot"

8.25.2007

It's just like watching T.V

I vicariously live my life through the people who surround me. The people who do what I would love to do, are in places where I would love to be. The people who are essentially me, in my dreams. I get so fascinated with these people and wonder how come they are living my life. I guess that's why I never really liked meeting these kinds of people. It ruins the vicarious pleasure. The more you talk to them the more you realize the difference between you and them. The difference could be the reason why you cannot be in their shoes. Then it gets to the point when you just let out a frustrated "Ok, fine. You're not me". Then I have to scavenge again for people who could be me.

If you think about it, it's just one twisted narcissistic hobby in a very out of body sense.

I guess it's about time I get to experience the infamous Life first hand. I never really had a plan about this chapter because I always thought I'd be gone before the previous chapter closes. So, the plan was to live as many lives as possible and leave before they get old. It's actually quite perfect in theory until you realize I might be alive still at 40. Without school life to cover up my perfectly messy vicarious existence I would have to settle for the not so perfect, not preferred option---to live. I hate the idea. Occasionally, I tried to step out of the spectator's box. But Whoa! i come running back because these people are hardwired to stick their knives down your throat to get to your beating blood box. You know, they take it out, chop it to pieces and when they're satisfied, try to feed it to you thinking maybe your spit is enough to glue it back together. I can't blame them though, I guess it's innate. I may be doing it to other people too. Only, I turn their brains into mush with my senseless rants. Hmm...I might like this whole 'live the life' thing.

8.21.2007

Another dose of sense

The most effective way to do it, is to do it.
-Amelia Earhart

Methinks:
Some people are really polite and helpful. I wonder why...
-The Cynic in Me

8.07.2007

Daily dose of sense

"Oh, daytime TV is muy estupido"
-Bart

8.06.2007

Someone slipped Felix Felicis on my wine last night

Smiling is a good thing, I guess. But when fictional characters start playing a big part in that smile, I guess it starts getting twisted.

And by getting twisted I mean crazy... which is always nice, of course.

Methinks:

On the not so bright side, I've been doing some unofficial net surfing.I've been to Mugglenet.com almost everyday...and wondering why there aren't so many updates... then I realized Harry Potter has ended, great!

My brain is starting to deteriorate... and my heart, well, I don't have one.