It's just like watching T.V

I vicariously live my life through the people who surround me. The people who do what I would love to do, are in places where I would love to be. The people who are essentially me, in my dreams. I get so fascinated with these people and wonder how come they are living my life. I guess that's why I never really liked meeting these kinds of people. It ruins the vicarious pleasure. The more you talk to them the more you realize the difference between you and them. The difference could be the reason why you cannot be in their shoes. Then it gets to the point when you just let out a frustrated "Ok, fine. You're not me". Then I have to scavenge again for people who could be me.

If you think about it, it's just one twisted narcissistic hobby in a very out of body sense.

I guess it's about time I get to experience the infamous Life first hand. I never really had a plan about this chapter because I always thought I'd be gone before the previous chapter closes. So, the plan was to live as many lives as possible and leave before they get old. It's actually quite perfect in theory until you realize I might be alive still at 40. Without school life to cover up my perfectly messy vicarious existence I would have to settle for the not so perfect, not preferred option---to live. I hate the idea. Occasionally, I tried to step out of the spectator's box. But Whoa! i come running back because these people are hardwired to stick their knives down your throat to get to your beating blood box. You know, they take it out, chop it to pieces and when they're satisfied, try to feed it to you thinking maybe your spit is enough to glue it back together. I can't blame them though, I guess it's innate. I may be doing it to other people too. Only, I turn their brains into mush with my senseless rants. Hmm...I might like this whole 'live the life' thing.