June: are you happy?
Yes. Dont know why. But yes. I never question anything that puts a smile on my face
December: are you happy?
Ask me again in a couple of months. I hate to acknowledge the fact that being happy is a conscious and hard effort and it's increasingly difficult too.
Why do we keep looking at things that grab our throats and slowly try to choke us? Because we like the torture? Because we enjoy the drama?
No.
Because we hope that it will stop hurting. Maybe we will be desensitized. Just like all things, it will end. We hope that will happen today. Now.
We hope. We hope not to lose hope.
The only good thing about the commute to work is the 15-20 steps in front of Ricoa. A whiff of Chocolate heaven.
It's possible, that's the only good thing about work.
The appeal of everyone as a human being increases when you know your time with them is fleeting.
Some things are better left short and unadulterated; it is what it is and what it was is perfect.
Sure.
*too much thoughtcatalog can make you overthink. -Evelyn Cheung. 6 lessons you learn from excessive travelling.
Often it is the tiny, almost insignificant decisions we make in our day to day lives that have the most impact on who we are, who we're with, who hurts us. (Because really, who gets to hurt us but those we allow) It is almost untraceable. When you try to figure out where a mistake was made it's next to impossible to find it.
Sometimes we find ourselves in situations, uncomfortable situations, brought about by a series of random and harmless decisions. Like a decision to talk to someone new, to be friends with an unlikely new acquaintance. How can a potentially heartbreaking situation come from a set of lighthearted conversations? It's like asking 'why do bad things happen to good people?'. It never gets a straight answer. It is disconcerting to know that there is no way to predict a bad outcome. It just happens.
All things eventually come to an end. The good and the bad, fortunately and unfortunately. So how do we end something that is veering towards an unfortunate ending when it is based on a series of fortunate (happy!) events?
Just when you are starting to get a hold of your loose thoughts, frayed ideas, ramblings and random hopes, a bomb is dropped on your head. It's one of those things that one can deem superficial, not a problem, can be easily overcome. It just came at the wrong time.
Nothing ever comes at the right time. Patience IS a skill. Waiting is never fun. You're never really sure when it is time to leave. You just leave and make do with whatever you were able to take. And maybe pretend, maybe accept you do not need what you left behind.
I hope you can stay though. Somehow things are better when you're around.
I may not have a lot to give but i'll give it all to you.
No.
Wait.
I do have a lot to give. I deserve to get what i want. I deserve what i want.
I will get what i want.
The hardest part is not making the decision. It's living with the consequences of that decision.
No, I don't think you should get married just because you've already invested several years of your life in a relationship.
No, I don't think you should get married because of familiarity or practicality.
No, I don't think you should get married just because.
No, I don't think you should rush into anything.
No, I don't think you should get married because everyone's at it.
Yes, I think you should think about it.
Yes, I think you should save, prepare and have the wedding you've always wanted.
Yes, I think you should find the one you want to spend the rest of your life with and marry that person.
Quite logical? Logical enough? I just choose to say the exact opposite of what I believe in. That's the illogical part.
What was the diagnosis again? Is it capable of being fixed? No longer salvageable? Are you going to fix it? Are you still trying to stitch it back together?
What was I supposed to do again? Was I supposed to enjoy my last moments or was I supposed to just find another hobby?
Was I supposed to take a grand vacation to forget what you said? Or
was I supposed to stay in place?
Wait. Have you given a diagnosis yet? Or did I just get ahead of myself? Again.
