You will cry for me
I will take from you
All the tears
You never shed for me
I will claim
What you deny
I will dry your eyes
Of the tears
For you will
Never cry
For someone else
But me
If you cannot love me
You will cry for me
‘mione
Happy Valentine’s
I watched you from afar
Where they wouldn’t know
And you wouldn’t care
Where I could suffer my love
I would take being second best
If it meant losing to you
I would taunt the weasel and scarhead
If it meant a strong emotion from you
I would take a punch, a slap
Anger and hate
I would take anything
You could give
My non-existent heart
Will continue to feel
As long as you hate me
I will love you
Happy Valentine’s Day
‘mione
Crawl on the bloody floor
Let the red stain
Linger on your skin
The irony smell
Stay on the olfactory
Let your eyes turn into ruby
Forget the emerald
Forget the sapphire
Forget the yellow tainted glow of the light
Focus on the pain
Let the grace embrace
Soon it will disappear
Your vein will stop spurting your life
And it will end
And you will be with me
Where they don’t care
If you love me
Or if I love you
If love exists
That I’m an insufferable git
And you are an insufferable know-it-all
Where the weaslebee
And the pothead
Don’t exist
And we are gone
To live
Happy Valentine’s
‘mione
who was it that i saw all those times? an image that time has created for me to love. someone for my eyes to follow, for my heart to feel, to bury me deeper.
so i guess you were gone a long time ago. fast before i ever realized who you really were.
so the tears that fell were for no one. the scars that were left were for no one. i was afraid of being an empty shell when you leave me, funny how i've always been.
so it was you all along, that someone i never cared for. it was you all along, that someone who never cared. stupid me, i never realized i loved a phantom.
time is cruel. that i know now, for it left me in that puddle of shit, i thought was a haven for love. how i wasted my life for someone i thought was some one.
well i guess now, we could be together in that puddle of shit, being two no ones
i am so used to seeing you, so used to your voice. memorized every detail of your beautifully crafted face.
until i saw you today, and i realize, time. it does exist. such a traitor, it crept from behind. i never knew what it was taking away from me, until i opened my eyes and saw you. how different you are from who i thought you were.
images, they were so concrete. like you're there before me, though you were long gone. away from the life i thought we had, away from me.
to be continued...
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it has been a while, goodness and i would certainly be babbling. we visited cribs around 2, 3 weeks ago. if you've evr been to a place like that well you know what it means by never wanting to leave. we are 3 days away from passing a competition plate, and on a sunday afternoon enjoying the company of little angels. oh well, some things do not end with leaving...
anyway that competition plate? best forgotten... ok! forgotten already!
after that prelims week...it was ok until we got to the literature exam which was terrible. the professor stated before how literature is not about memorizing, but it's about understanding. but hello! when the paper comes a lot of stuff you wouldn't remember if you do not deliberately try to memorize... just great...
and that was the first month of 2005 for me. a 2 hours worth of visit and that was actually the best,some exams, some some... good enough.
i just finished memoirs of a geisha...finally. good book, entertaining. really makes you fascinated about them geishas, i did a bit of side researching while doing a bit of research on japanese architecture.
what else? almost done reading 'the five people you meet in heaven'. teary-eyed... i would've cried if i wasn't reading while riding public transpo.
now, i've an art class assignment, task due february, a lot more plates and vacation soon to come!!!
don't you just love the second semester?
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funny, how we broke up. i've been wanting to see him, never to be with him just love him from afar. and so everyday i would watch from my corner to admire the lovely handiwork of the heavens. to watch how people just can't help but fall in love with him. to watch people be with him. and everyday i would notice how far he has moved from that familiar spot where i used to gaze at him. until one day i realized i can't even see his face, nor hear his voice. i could only imagine how he used to speak, how he looked. and so everyday from my little corner, i would sit and hope. time would be cruel, it would hold on to me like some gum stuck on your pants. i would never move on like they all did.
one day i saw a face so unlike the one i used to know, but still makes my heart feel. for some strange twist of fate he was there in front of me like i always hoped would happen.
and so everyday he would be with me, be the perfect him that he will always be. until i knew i've gotten so far i couldn't let go.
and he would smile and laugh like we were meant to be. i enjoyed all those times. imprinted in my heart not my head.
we were too good to be true, they would say. and one day i would realize just how true it is.
i have gotten so used with the hurt, the longing, that having you with me is just too much. and so it happened, like a dream. the word goodbye flew out of my mouth like a knife threatening to kill.
he was hurt i knew he was. i too was dying inside.
so i returned to my corner, admiring the amazing handiwork of the heavens.i thought i saw tears. but i could not allow myself the satisfaction, of the tears i so longed to fall for me.
there are lots of people around him, professing love they thought they felt. claiming to love him like i did. like i do. like i always will. but they will never know what it's like to have you
what is it with internet quizzes? huh?
i was spending some time in the bathroom a while taking with my friend, who of course does not seem to know me.
me: i was just wondering what it would be like to be loved
imaginary friend: sure, i wonder too sometimes
me: maybe you could try and love me
imaginary friend: sure, like i've any choice.
me: come on...
imaginary friend: ?!!@#
me: now that's totally uncalled for.
and so that was our nonsense conversation,
| How to make a witchlia |
| Ingredients: 3 parts friendliness 1 part courage 3 parts beauty |
| Method: Add to a cocktail shaker'; return true;" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;">cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Serve with a slice of sadness and a pinch of salt. Yum! |
